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Artist's Commentary
Sharing Is Caring

Many people believe that society has degenerated over the years. That may be true in some areas, but certainly not in the area of sharing. It's rare to find someone whose not willing to slog out into the world, regardless of how bad they feel, and share their latest virus with all their friends and coworkers.

Published November 17, 2008















Artist's Commentary
I Know It's In There Somewhere


"Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots?
then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.
- Jeremiah 13:23

This is one of the few sayings popularly attributed to the Bible which is actually in there. Some other popular contenders are:

"The Lord helps those that help themselves." This is actually a quote from Benjamin Franklin.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child." Close, but no cigars. Proverbs 13:24 says, "He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently." As a young fellow, I often engaged in activities directly designed to test this scripture. By all indications, my parents loved me deeply.

"Moderation in all things." This is more of an extrapolation from Aristotle's Doctrine of the Mean in his Nicomachean Ethics, the mean being the middle ground between excess and deficiency.

And for those of you really curious about the state of canine appellations, soubriquets, monikers, or handles, according to the Veterinary Pet Insurance Company, the most popular dog names are:

Top male names: Top female names:
1. Max 1. Bella
2. Buddy 2. Molly
3. Rocky 3. Lucy
4. Bailey 4. Maggie
5. Jake 5. Daisy
6. Charlie 6. Sophie
7. Jack 7. Sadie
8. Toby 8. Chloe
9. Cody 9. Bailey
10. Buster 10. Lola

Spot doesn't seem as popular as one might imagine.


Published November 24, 2008





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Artist's Commentary
Long Live the Mayor

In the world of philanthropy few can rival Maxx's generosity. He's donated hundreds of teeth, or should I say, convinced a number of people he was engaged in lively debates with, to donate hundreds of teeth to the tooth fairy on behalf of avian, invertebrate, and as yet unclassified species of children who had no teeth with which to trade. In this Maxx is following in the footsteps of his great great granduncle, Mayor Tammany Tweed who is famous for saying, "Give until it hurts, somebody else."

Published December 1, 2008

















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Artist's Commentary
Dihydrogen Monoxide

Below is a 1997 science fair report submitted by 14 year old Eagle Rock Junior HIgh School student Nathan Zohner in Idaho Falls, Idaho.


Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urnitation, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:

• is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
• contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
• may cause severe burns.
• contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
• accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
• may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
• has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently in California.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

• as an industrial solvent and coolant.
• in nuclear power plants.
• in the production of styrofoam.
• as a fire retardant.
• in many forms of cruel animal research.
• in the distribution of pesticides. Even after, washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
• as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer?

The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.

Forty-Three of his fellow students agreed to ban the substance upon reading his paper and it won him the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair for the year.

His fellow students were not alone.

In March 2004, Aliso Viejo, a municipality in Orange County California almost banned the substance after a paralegal convinced the city council of the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.

And not too long ago, at a Worldfest rally Chris McGaha carried around a petition to ban this substance. People eagerly signed on the dotted line once she explained the dangers this substance poses.


Published December 8, 2008













Artist's Commentary
Funhouse Mirrors

Come on, admit it. You did it too. Don't tell me I'm the only one who dug through the dictionary as a kid looking up all the bad words to see if they were in there. I have a feeling that if they ever do come out with a potty word crossword puzzle book it'll be about as popular as a funhouse mirror at a nudist colony.

Published December 15, 2008








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Artist's Commentary
I'm Optimistically Pessimistic

By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
-Mark Twain

I find nothing more depressing than optimism.
-Paul Fussel

Published December 22, 2008





















Artist's Commentary
Are You Perturbed About Nonperturbation?

Yeah, I know we all know that Dante Alighieri wrote his Divine Comedy from an Aristotlean/ Aquinian worldview. I'm also aware that Plato's Republic is probably light to the point of fluff for most readers. And, of course we're all familiar with the whole string vs. particle theory debate, the problems with perturbation theory, prohibitively difficult lattice calculations, and not to mention the difficulties in describing fermions, the basic constituents of matter, on lattices.

But, please try and keep in mind that Prophet is only dealing with children and they are not as sophisticated or educated as you and I.

But, since applying nonperturbative approaches like "constructive quantum field theory" to perturbation theory problems creates ambiguities by eliminating infinities, I thought it might be fun to revisit our old friend Georg Cantor. Remember, he's the guy who invented the theory of infinite sets or "pathological sets" as they were known in their day.

To make it simple, let's use the example of a graph. If you take the set of infinite whole numbers on a graph and then plot the fractions between each whole number, one finds a set of infinite fractions between each of the infinite whole numbers. Thus raising the question, are the infinite sets of fractions between the whole numbers greater than the infinite set of whole numbers.

Again, I know all of this is rather lame for most of you, and I've mercilessly butchered Cantor's whole infinite set theory, but I really couldn't think of anything else to write about this week and I wouldn't want to annoy any of my readers by rambling on about a subject that they're already infinitely more qualified to opine on than am I.


Published December 29, 2008












Artist's Commentary
Analytical Lunatics

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
~ Ambrose Bierce

Published January 5, 2009









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Artist's Commentary
The Gravity of Gravity

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
~ Dave Barry

But that's only true 68% of the time.

Published January 12, 2009













Artist's Commentary
Read All About It

Live never to be ashamed if anything you say or do is published around the world, even if what is said is not true.
~ Richard Bach

That's Maxx's philosophy.

Published January 19, 2009


















Artist's Commentary

Everybody knows what all of those comic strip curse symbols mean because cursing is one of our more practiced and honored forms of verbal repartee these days. But do you know what some of the more obscure symbols on your keyboard are called in their more innocuous state?

~ is a tilde
` is a grave or grave accent
^ is a caret or circumflex
& is an ampersand
{ } are braces
[ ] are brackets
... is an ellipsis
/ is a forward slash or virgule


Published January 26, 2009










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Artist's Commentary
Nice Doggie

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!"... till you can find a rock.
~ Unknown

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
~ Franklin P. Jones

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. 
~ Phil Pastoret


Published February 2, 2009















Artist's Commentary
Hand Basket Travel Tours

In our daily lives there are many people who invite us to depart to a different ethereal plane. Many of these people are willing to give us handy directions and even enlighten us as to the best modes of transportation there. If you ever get confused about which way to go, just remember: the road to hell is paved with good intentions; the usual mode of transportation there tends to be a hand basket; and the person pointing you in the correct direction will generally be using his middle finger. Additionally, if you meet a winged being giving you directions, keep in mind the advice of Kitty Wells who oh so melodically opined, "It wasn't God who made honky tonk angels."

Published February 9, 2009










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Artist's Commentary
Words Of Wisdom

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
~ Dave Barry

Just some advice I thought was worth passing on.

Published February 16, 2009













Artist's Commentary
Social Volunteerism

The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.
~ David Gerrold

Maxx is willing to volunteer for the job though.

Published February 23, 2009









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Artist's Commentary
I'm Just Reporting

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
~ Dave Barry

For all you fisherman out there, please forward any hate mail to Mr. Dave Barry. I don't make the news, I only report it. For all you lonely fishing widows, please send a (CURRENT!) photo, phone number or email address, and dates your husbands will be out on the lake, pond, river or ocean to this address.

Published March 2, 2009












Artist's Commentary
Dizzy Butterflies

I shall state silences more competently than ever a better man spangled the butterflies of vertigo.
~ Samuel Beckett

I think that about says it all.

Published March 9, 2009











Artist's Commentary
Groucho 1

Before I speak, I have something important to say.
~ Groucho Marx

Published March 16, 2009









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Artist's Commentary
Not Talking About You

Of course, none of this applies to my readers, because I know none of you have ever answered your cell phone, or sat obliviously while it wailed out its siren tone, during a wedding, a funeral, a movie, church, or a meal at a nice restaurant. And everyone who uses their phone in public naturally always speaks in a normal 'inside voice' whenever holding a conversation. And no one has ever dialed their phone or searched its directory while adjusting the radio, eating a burger, applying makeup, shaving their face, legs, pits, or bikini line, all while driving on the interstate during rush hour at ninety miles an hour. It's all those other people who do that.

Published March 23, 2009









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Artist's Commentary
Fun and Games

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
-G. K. Chesterton

Isn't it amazing how some people are completely incapable of appreciating our brand of fun.


Published March 30, 2009