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Artist's Commentary

A fanatic is someone who redoubles his efforts after he has forgotten his aim.

Published February 25, 2008






Artist's Commentary
Maxx The Measure

It was the Greek Protagoras of Abdera (c. 480-410 B.C.) who first canonized that ever so popular belief in "Man, the measure of all things." But, apparently not everything in the universe is using the same yardstick.

Published March 3, 2008












Artist's Commentary
Boom-A-Arrow or Arrow-Arang? You Decide.

The oldest known boomerangs actually come from a cave in Oblazowa in southern Poland and date back nearly 20,000 years to 18,000 B.C.

Published March 10, 2008













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Artist's Commentary
The Weather Report

Prophet's weather forecasts must always be interpreted in light of ones eschatological stance. If one is an amillennialist, the forecast being given is contemporary. If one is a postmillennialist, the forecast won't happen for a while and then will last a thousand years, so just hope you don't live long enough for the weather to take a dramatic turn. If one's bent is towards preterism, the weather happened a couple of thousand years ago and essentially, you're just watching a rerun of the weather. A non millennialist doesn't believe the weather is happening now, won't happen in the future, and didn't even happen in the past. So, whether there's rain, sleet, or snow; drought, tornadoes, or hurricanes, it's all copacetic.

If you're totally confused, have not a clue what's just been said, and don't even know how to pronounce eschatology, welcome to the study of end time meteorology


Published March 17, 2008











Artist's Commentary

Who would succeed in this world should be wise in the use of pronouns. Utter the you twenty times, where you once
utter the I.

-John Milton Hay “Distichs, no13”


Published March 24, 2008











Artist's Commentary
Call Mr. Guinness

The world record for the lowest limbo unaided by road construction equipment is 5 7/8 inches by a fifty-five year old man.


Published March 31, 2008












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Artist's Commentary
Still The Best

Do unto others, then split.

Do unto others before they can do unto you.

Do unto others until you get caught.

There are other variations, but the original is probably the best.


Published April 7, 2008











Artist's Commentary
Equine Chic

I was a bit reticent to draw this potentially controversial, yet entirely historically accurate event. I know of virtually no other piece of attire which elicits a more giddy and ebulient response from the average woman than shoes and I hope that no one of the fairer sex misconstrues this portrayal as in any way condoning shoe abuse. Let me reassure my female audience that all of the shoes portrayed were, "So last season," that they had outlived their usefulness as haute couture.

Published April 14, 2008












Artist's Commentary
Time, Times and Half a Times

Time has a habit of being somewhat flighty. It drags during the week and races on weekends. It's also a bit impatient in that it waits for no one. It has it's theatrical side, 'like sands through the hour glass, so are The Days Of Our Lives'. It's also said to heal all wounds, although I'm still waiting for the wound Ginger gave my heart thirty-five years ago to mend. Time is also measured in relative terms. We have half time, over time and daylight savings time. Lastly, Time does suffer from an identity crisis, because the Bible says the Almighty has some peculiar views of Time. He views 'a day as a thousand years and a thousand years as a day' and His watch runs on 'time, times and half a times'.

Published April 21, 2008









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Artist's Commentary
Title VIII

The legal department of Pippin & Maxx Arts and Entertainment has requested that I publish this disclaimer.

The management, producers, and employees of Pippin & Maxx Arts and Entertainment neither practice, advocate, nor endorse the act of demon exorcism. Under Title VIII of the Civil Rights Act of 1968 (The Fair Housing Act) anyone has the right to live, abide, or reside in any home, apartment, duplex, or host body without respect to race, creed, color, marital status, religious, or depth of depravity.

Published April 28, 2008


















Artist's Commentary

For those of you who find mathematics particularly intimidating, let me give you some reference material I found particularly helpful. Years ago, I spent a year and a half reading everything I could on theoretical mathematics and theoretical physics. These were all layman's books, but were extremely beneficial.

In Search of Schrodinger's Cat by John Gribbin
Asimov on Numbers by Isaac Asimov. (I actually read more than a dozen of Asimov's science books.)
The Joy of Pi by David Slater
Fermat's Enigma by Simon Singh
Fermat's Last Theorem by Amir D. Aczel
The Mystery of the Aleph (Mathematics, the Kabbalay, and the Search for Infinity) by Amir d. Aczel
A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
The Nature of Space and Time by Stepehn Hawking and Roger Penrose
The Story of √-1 by Paul J Nahin

This is just a brief summary of the many volumes I read. All of them are deeply fascinating and highly recommended. If you're really interested, however, and think you can wrap your mind around it, I would suggest your referring to any episode of the Beverly Hillbillies in which Jethro Bodine explains the branch of mathematics known as Gazintas. Although I can't explain it with the depth and clarity of Mr. Bodine, briefly: two gazinta four, two times. Two gazinta eight, four times. Two gazinta ten, five times. The beauty of this is that it works with all numbers and can lead one into a whole world of improbable number theorems including fractions and even negatives.

Published May 5, 2008








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Artist's Commentary
Cryp - tic Repartee

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
Oscar Wilde

There are those who contend that the fine art of witty repartee and clever insults were sadly entombed with the remains of great literary figures and rhetoricians like Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde, I think this episode has put that myth to bed.

Published May 12, 2008











Artist's Commentary
The Competitive Edge

It would seem today that the issue of original sin has become less a theological debate and more a competition with originality being the main goal and maximum gross out deserving of extra points.


Published May 19, 2008










Artist's Commentary
Culinary Delights

There are some religions who subscribe to the belief in reincarnation. They therefore prohibit the hunting, killing, and or eating of any form of life like cattle, deer, rabbits, and, of course, mice for fear it could be the reincarnated soul of one of their long lost relatives. But, if you've got relatives like Maxx's, or mine for that matter, the thought of adding one of your dearly departed relatives to the menu at an all you can eat buffet might have a certain culinary appeal.

Published May 26, 2008










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Artist's Commentary
Melanocyte-Stimulating Hormone Receptor

I like freckles. I think they're cute. But, for those who wish to lessen their chances of getting them, I ran across this recipe which you might find useful.

"For the Freckles which one getteth by the heat of the Sun:
Take a little Allom beaten small, temper amonst it a well brayed
white of an egg, put it on a milde fire, stirring it always about
that it wax not hard, and when it casteth up the scum, then it
is enough, wherewith anoint the Freckles the space of three
dayes: if you will defend your self that you get no Freckles on
the face, then anoint your face with the whites of eggs."

Christopher Wirzung
General Practise of Physicke, 1654

I gave you this information so you wouldn't be under the misconception that alum is only useful in street fights.

Published June 2, 2008










Artist's Commentary
Of Olfactories And The Making Of Ols

There has always been a 'mostly friendly' rivalry between the United Brotherhood of Grave Diggers, the Amalgamated Union of Ditch Diggers and the International Federation of Sewer and Septic Tank Cleaners over who's got the smelliest pits. Each year, in the city of Urea, famous for its many olfactories, where the workers make top notch ols, these groups meet and compete to see who has the smelliest arm pits. Urea is a friendly place nestled in the junction of the Eccrine and Aprocrine rivers, and I can get you the information on the exact time of this years competition, but be forewarned, these people take their hygiene very seriously. So, no perfumes, no shaving under the arms and no, and I mean absolutely no, deodorants are allowed within city limits. This is, of course, a favorite tourist spot for the French.

Published June 9, 2008










Artist's Commentary
The Dangers of Fingerplay

"Here's The Church", "Open Shut Them", "This Little Piggie", and "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" are all great for preschoolers in advancing cognitive and motor skills. But, if your child does not have fingers, but is sporting a set of tentacles, spines, hooks, hooves, claws or other non mammalian appendages, please use extreme caution. Eye injuries, lacerations, head trauma, and the choking of the individual child and/ or bystanders during unsupervised fingerplays have all been reported. The legal team at Pippin & Maxx are ever eager to keep what little money we have in our coffers and to keep your grubby little tentacles, claws, hooks, hooves, spines, and other non mammalian appendages off of it and have therefore directed me to enter this disclaimer and thus distance ourselves from any liability which might occur from the actions of its readers.

Published June 16, 2008


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Artist's Commentary

I feel it incumbent upon myself to clear up some of the misinformation you might have gotten in your history lessons about this famous outlaw. Robert Frazer, Douglas Fairbanks, Partick Bergin, Kevin Costner and Cary Elwes all played Robin Hood in the movies, but these are all mere shades of the real Robin Hood. Few people know, that the real Robin Hood played himself in the 1938 documentary, "The Adventures of Robin Hood". Mr. Hood, for various reasons of tax liability, took up the pseudonym of Errol Flynn.

In the documentary "The Adventures of Robin Hood", Mr. Hood's arch nemesis, Sir Guy of Gisbourne, played by, or a.k.a. Basil Rathbone is also a lesson in how people can turn over a new leaf. After his confrontation with Mr. Hood and his Merry Men, Mr. Gisbourne/ Rathbone left for London where he put his powers of deductive reasoning to good use by aiding Scotland Yard under the alias Sherlock Holmes.

He and Mr. Hood now live in seaside condominiums on a small island in the Pacific first discovered by the son of Little John ("The Adventures of Robin Hood"), a.k.a. Alan Hale Sr. It seems that Alan Hale Jr., affectionately known as the 'Skipper', discovered "Gilligan's Island" quite by accident, but after a few years of misadventures on this island with his passengers and crew he turned it into a tropical retreat for many of history's most famous recluses.


Published June 23, 2008










Artist's Commentary
Sentimental Journey

This is a day many refer to as Maxx's "sentimental journey", because as I understand it, he gave that card to virtually everyone he knew. This is a rare glimpse into just what an ol' softy even Maxx can be.

Published June 30, 2008







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Artist's Commentary
Professional Oath Mincing

There's nothing like a good euphemism. I swear by them. Well, I 'mince-oaths', by them. Since I took up the use of euphemisms, I've not committed a single sin. I have 'exercised poor judgement', 'engaged in a few indiscretions', 'made a few mistakes', 'had a lapse in judgement', 'had an accident', 'might have done something inappropriate', or even 'goofed up'. But, I've not committed a single sin.

Published July 7, 2008